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Healthy food

The Grief of Not being Mothered

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The Grief of Not being Mothered

I spent this past weekend replenishing my mind, body, and soul at a wellness spa.

The body was the easy part - fun workouts, good clean food, and some great massages always do the trick for me.

Taking a break from the news and social media did it for my mind.

The soul, however... that was the tricky part.

You see I have been feeling a little off-kilter lately. Not really sad. Not really happy. Kind of like just going through the motions without the joy. You know those times, right?

I signed up for every service that I thought could help me dive deep, could crack open my heart, and could help me unblock what was holding me back. 

I tried a Soul Journey, and an Inner Journey, and lots of quiet reflection. I meditated, I pondered, I came up with so many theories...

Maybe I am working too hard...

Maybe it's the weather...

Maybe it's the political situation or menopause or not eating enough carbs???

I couldn't figure it out.

But it wasn't until the very last day that I had a breakthrough. It was during my energy healing session that I felt it. 

I felt PAIN. Excruciating, almost couldn't breathe, chest exploding pain that was buried so deep. In fact, I didn't even know the extreme level of pain I had been feeling until it released.

I missed having a mom.

This was not the grief of losing my mom. This was the eternal grief of not being mothered.

And this pain was blocking my joy.

Truth be told, my mom was not the greatest mother for me. She was not that comforting or wise. She hardly ever visited and didn't seem particularly interested in my life.

But she was still my mom. And I will always love her and know that she loved me even if she had trouble showing it sometimes. 

I had worked so hard to mindfully grieve that I thought I was through it. But, not being mothered is a hole that can not ever be filled. 


So what now?

I  know that my life is filled with so much love and joy that I will be damned if I don't appreciate it, feel it, and rejoice in it.

My soul is feeling much freer already but I know to truly break through this period, I must keep up the work. I must continue to peel away the layers buried deep inside and I must actively pursue joy as if my life depended on it.

Because, truthfully, it does.

And, I can think of no better tribute to my mom and to my own children than to choose joy. 







 

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A TRAVEL TRICK FOR YOUR NEXT TRIP!

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A TRAVEL TRICK FOR YOUR NEXT TRIP!

Let's face it, we all know what we are supposed to eat healthy, but actually doing it is another story...especially while on vacation.

The bread, the wine, the cheese, and the gelato.... they all call out to us. Eat me! Eat me! No, Eat me! 

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The Superwoman’s Guide to Healthy Eating

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The Superwoman’s Guide to Healthy Eating

Are you a self-declared Superwoman flying from one “need-to-check-the-box” goal to another throughout your day? Do you feel like your work is never done? But, when you become depleted, instead of taking time to recharge with rest, relaxation or fun, you keep going and going and getting more stressed along the way? And, the more stressed you feel, the more you turn to food — that universal quick-fix — for comfort. You are not alone.

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12 Tips for Surviving the 12 Days of Christmas Without Adding Extra Pounds

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12 Tips for Surviving the 12 Days of Christmas Without Adding Extra Pounds

Here it comes — that stretch of holiday festivities that bring endless opportunities to overindulge. While it ’tis the season to be jolly, everywhere you turn you come face-to-face with all those tempting holiday foods. Are you worried that the constant exposure to goodies will start to weigh on your willpower like so many choruses of “The 12 Days of Christmas?”

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Is Your Holiday Overeating Linked to Nostalgia?

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Is Your Holiday Overeating Linked to Nostalgia?

The holidays bring with them an abundance of festivities centered around eating and drinking. And, not to play Scrooge, but much of our favorite holiday fare sits atop the list of those opiate-like "trigger foods." These foods fall in the "naughty" category because they set off chemicals in the brain that make us want to gorge ourselves -- like sugar, alcohol, cheese and refined carbohydrates (think breads and cookies). They trigger an eat-fest in your brain that can pack on unwanted pounds.

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Do Women Think About Food The Way Men Think About Sex?

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Do Women Think About Food The Way Men Think About Sex?

I have a theory. I think that many women think about food the way men think about sex.

We have all seen those studies where they say that men think about sex every seven seconds or thousands of times per day. Yes, many women think about sex a lot too, but many women think about food even more. Some women even think about food while having sex. Why is this happening?

My guess is that somewhere along the way, our wires got crossed, and food became our go-to, easy-to-get, always-available form of pleasure.

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The Perfect 3 Ingredients for Thanksgiving

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The Perfect 3 Ingredients for Thanksgiving

About eight years ago, I claimed Thanksgiving. Every woman needs a holiday that she can call her own and since cooking brisket wasn’t my thing, this seemed to be a good fit.  Although I could barely boil water at the time, I figured that most Thanksgiving staples could be bought pre-made and I could recruit my dad to carve the turkey. “No-brainer,” I thought.  Then I gave it a go.  Quickly I learned that the magic of Thanksgiving was not based on the moistness of the turkey or the sweetness of the pumpkin pie.  No, the magic comes from a delicate blend of all of the flavors that make up the day. Yes, I had claimed Thanksgiving, but in order to keep it I needed a better recipe.

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