Family Got You Feeling Flawed?
Have you spent a lot of time with family these last few weeks?
If so, are you feeling a little off balance? Confused? Wondering why all of your coping skills that you’ve been practicing for months just fell by the wayside.
Well, you are not alone.
Family brings out the best and worst in us. It reminds us of who we were and who we stopped wanting to be.
When we are at family gatherings with our parents and siblings, we often fall back into childhood patterns of being “the spoiled brat”, “the know it all”, “the sensitive one”, or another label that we are not particularly proud of.
From the moment we walk in the door, our triggers come at us like daggers and we have nowhere to run or hide except for perhaps by the buffet table or bar. But, to be totally fair, we are often unknowingly throwing daggers as well.
With our own children, we might start feeling like we’re becoming our parents - which we VOWED would never happen - and it can be haunting.
In fact, it really sucks. Weren’t we going to be different?
Even if we are supportive and understanding parents, there is no denying that each generation brings its own unique perspective, behaviors, and idiosyncrasies to the table.
As much as we try to be cool by listening to the same music, wearing similar clothes, and keeping open minds, we really can't understand some of the aspects of our kids’ culture since we did not grow up in it. There is a saying that applies to so many areas like this: They are the natives and we are the immigrants. In other words, we have to learn their language and culture and it is not easy.
I’m guessing that when Elvis thrusted his hips, parents at the time did not know what to make of it. Today, even though we live in a much more open-minded, liberal environment (at least some of us), I have to admit when I hear about the way my kids communicate with their friends, the way they work in their jobs, the way they date - I am often baffled. Yes, even me!
So rest assured that you are not the only one who may be feeling judged, not “enough”, and out of whack right now. It is simply not possible to be unconditionally adored by every person on this planet. We can’t always be the perfect daughter or son or sister or mother. But we can always try to be the best we can be and that, my friends, is good enough.
Lisa Lewtan is a Health & Lifestyle Coach, the founder of Healthy, Happy, and Hip, an award-winning author of "Busy, Stressed, and Food Obsessed!", and a radio show host on HealthViewRadio.com Join her Facebook Community HERE and schedule a Free 15-Minute “Calm Down My Life” strategy call HERE.