Is Just Being “Ok” a Full-Time Job?
It takes a lot to be ok in today’s world!
We want to:
Eat paleo/keto/vegan/ but not too much of it and not at the wrong times of the day.
Exercise really hard but not get injured, bored, or too bulky.
Sleep without getting up to pee and without ruminating at 4 am.
Drink enough water and not too much coffee.
Meditate or pretend to meditate.
Keep up with our friends even if we don’t have time to actually see them.
Take insta-worthy vacations.
Raise kids that change the world.
Have an active and fulfilling career.
Tend to adorable pets who never poop in the neighbor's yard.
And…
Fit into our skinny jeans without any fat rolls hanging over.
In other words, we are supposed to be happy, successful, engaged, and perfect.
But, is any of it real?
And what if we are not happy all the time?
And what if our skinny jeans are feeling tight?
It can feel like it's a lot of work just trying to keep up with the perfect images splashed across social media.
Think about the last time you were asked, “How are you doing?”
Your answers: Fine. Great. Busy!
Have you ever chosen to say how you really feel?
Tired - you woke up at four this morning and you couldn’t get back to sleep because you realized that you forgot to do that thing you were supposed to remember.
Stressed out – that project at work is close to being done, and you're still waiting on coworkers to complete the job but they really suck and you wish they could be fired.
Dissatisfied - you know there's got to be more life to make you happy; you just haven't found it yet. And truthfully you aren’t sure you want to put the work in to make it happen because you will just be busier than you are already.
You're supposed to show everybody that everything is going is perfect. That’s what social media is all about. Instagram and Facebook are showing perfect lives to hide the uncertainty that we are all feeling every day.
And when we see these perfect images, we feel more out of alignment with ourselves. We just want to look like everyone else.
But the truth is, everybody has on a perfect mask.
So, is it OK just to be OK?
Some days, it takes a lot of work to feel okay. Just being women means our bodies naturally fluctuate, and we go through periods where we feel great, and the periods where we feel pretty lousy.
We go through monthly cycles where we have different hormones produced in our bodies that are entirely contradictory to each other. Our daily hormones cause our emotions to go crazy sometimes.
Then we have the weather. On sunny days, when we can absorb some vitamin D, it helps increase our happiness and satisfaction. Then there are days where the sun is hiding and it can put a gloom over us.
We have to make a lot of adjustments to our lives to make sure we keep a positive attitude and healthy interactions.
It's not just a full-time job making sure we feel okay, it’s a way of life.
I’m not saying we should strive to always feel happiness and excitement. That’s impossible.
Instead, we should focus on contentment and peace no matter what's going on around us.
I have three steps that I recommend to all my clients to feel grounded:
Accept what’s happening
Stay aware of what's going on around and inside you. Having an idea of what’s going on can ease anxiety.
But! Don't obsess. You don't need to know about every statistic of crime happening in your neighborhood. You don't have to watch the news or listen to all of the gossip at the water cooler. You don’t have to know what day of your cycle it is.
The difference between being informed and being overwhelmed is stopping when you learned what you need and taking steps to make things easier.
Know your limits
Be realistic about the type of work that is best for your health.
I know, for myself, there are only a certain number of clients I can work with each day and be fully present with each of them. If I try and push past my limit, I don't give my clients the support they deserve.
We should always push ourselves to achieve the best we can be and to expand our limits. But, we need to know what our limits are before we can grow them.
Say NO
NO is one of the hardest words to say but it can be one of the most powerful and healing words you could ever utter.
Our time and energy are precious so be sure to set priorities for yourself and understand your limits. Then say no to everything that does not support yourself and your limits.
This is something so easy to write, but so hard to put into practice. Many women struggle with saying no and need support to break the cycle. If this is you, sign up with me for a free session, we can discuss how to set up boundaries that support yourself.
Being OK is OK. It means you support yourself and understand that prioritizing your health and well-being is necessary. Chasing after the perfect social media life becomes unimportant when you make your true self a priority.
xoxo,
Lisa Lewtan
Do you feel like you need a little extra support during this season of not being OK? We all need somebody. I can be that person for you. Let’s chat.