Why You Need to Say NO to Holiday Stress
Are you ready for the holidays or are you someone that looks at the coming festivities with dread? As an adult, the holidays often offer a much different experience than when you were a kid and didn’t have to do any of the work! It might still be magical, but it can also be incredibly stressful, busy, and overwhelming. BUT. You can choose to say NO!
Why Do the Holidays Cause Stress?
Oftentimes we can sense that the holidays cause stress but are unsure why. While this changes for each person, here are some of the more common reasons people tend to get more stressed during the holidays.
The Planning and Doing
Many people get stressed from planning a party, cooking meals, eating too much, dealing with crowds, traveling, or even attending a party (What should I wear? What will still fit? Who will be there? What if I am not enough? Too much?). Sound familiar?
The Financial Aspects
One biggie stressor with the holidays is what it is going to do to your bank account. There seem to be thousands of expenses during the holidays: buying gifts, planning a party, paying for travel, buying a new outfit that will probably only be worn once. Oh, and are we supposed to buy teacher gifts? Manicurist gifts? Amazon delivery guy tips? I get stressed just thinking about all the gifts!
Having Too Much to Do
I bet you often think: there isn’t enough time in the day! When the holidays come around, that feeling can grow and fill us with dread. You might end up with invitations to 3 different parties on the same night (go to all of them? One of them? None of them?) or you need to figure out how you are going to cook a big holiday meal for your family (let’s not forget all the dietary restrictions for each guest!) while also trying to run errands (how much will the gas prices rise this season?), keep your kids occupied (and alive with magic), and help your neighbor with her party planning (because you don’t already have enough to do!).
TIP: There comes a time when you are stretching yourself too thin and simply need to say no to some people. Yes may feel good in the moment, but when you have to actually execute all of your yeses, you might end up angry at others and yourself! If you struggle with saying no, especially during the holidays, here are some helpful tips to gain your confidence:
Be Honest About Your Reasons For Turning it Down
Do you take a moment to think before you give an answer? Slow down and be honest and upfront right away if someone asks you to handle something over the holidays when you are already at full capacity. Whether it will cost too much money, too much time, or too much energy during the holidays, you should never feel forced to do something.
If you have enough on your plate already and someone asks you to host a party in your home, be honest and let them know you can’t do it this year right away. You don’t want to add “how to let so and so know you can’t do what you said you would do” to your list.
Offer Up Better Alternatives
If you want to be helpful but dread the situation that is presented, give a better alternative that works for you! Perhaps someone else in the family has a big house and you know they don’t have any big plans yet for the holidays. Ask if that person is able to host the party this year at their house, then you can host the next party when you aren’t dealing with all of the overwhelming holiday stress. If this doesn’t sound like a good solution, then you can say no without it seeming like you didn’t try. You might be able to work out an even better situation for everyone if you can brainstorm together.
Agree to Help With Smaller Things
Oftentimes, people asking for help are unsure how to properly delegate. Offer your help by delegating smaller tasks out to people, and take an easy one for yourself! Maybe you can offer to bring food to the party if someone else hosts, or you can pitch in with a little bit of money. Everyone can play a part and then you can feel less pressure.
Learn to say no to things that won’t bring you joy, especially during the holidays. When you say no, you can help others focus on the magic of the season through your own example!
Enjoy your holidays!
Do you struggle with saying no? Sometimes it can feel impossible to stand up for yourself. I can help you with strategies that work for you. Let’s chat.