On the INSIDE, are you an OUTSIDER?

Do you ever feel like you just don’t quite fit in?

Do you wonder at social events why everyone else is smiling, happy, and surrounded by their five best friends while you gaze around the room searching for familiar faces?

Happens to me all too often. 

You see…

even though you would never guess this...

On the outside, I appear like an extrovert

and on the inside, I feel like an outsider.

LOL - Do you know what I mean??

I used to always wonder... 

What’s wrong with me? 

How can I escape?

Why don’t I ever feel like I’m one of the gang?

If you can relate, then I am here to tell you: We are NOT ALONE!!!

What we are suffering from - that feeling that everyone else belongs, and I don't - is just one of the many forms of SOCIAL ANXIETY.

So many of those people we see, even the ones having a good time, also have some form of social anxiety.  And they would be just as shocked that you have it as you are that they have it.

Social anxiety can be the nervousness you feel going to back to school night for your kids or a business networking meeting. Or maybe wanting to avoid your class reunions and family gatherings for reasons you can’t seem to pinpoint.

And it is sooooo common.

I see this all the time in very confident, extroverted women that you would never guess… (yes, I include myself in this group of women with whom I would probably fit in very well)

It's kind of like a little secret that people aren't sharing. So naturally, I had to write about it :)

Fortunately, I have been thinking about this alot and have decided that we can overcome it!

Let’s start with class reunions. Many people stress about:

Am I thin enough?

Am I successful enough?

Will anyone remember who I am?

What if no one wants to talk to me?

How come they all stayed friends and I didn’t?

It’s so… high school…

But it’s also really hard to go in and find yourself coming up with your exit strategy in the first 10 minutes.

So what to do instead?

I like to come up with a mantra.

In this case, something like “I belong here” might just do the trick. After all, you were a student at that school just as much as anyone else was. And even if you felt like a total social outcast, you still were part of the tapestry that made up the experience for everyone and belong just as much as anyone else.

I have lots of other mantras for lots of other situations too. If you would like some help on this simply schedule time with me, and we can brainstorm together.

We’ll come up with a favorite mantra you can repeat when the anxiety rolls in. And then perhaps, maybe on the inside you can feel like an insider too :)